Please donate!

Hey, folks! Show your holiday spirit and help out a worthy cause. My close friend, Bill needs your help with a tax-deductible donation. Merry Santa Speedo Run!

in other words...

  • Funny and a totally believable fiction.

  • Obama:

    I tried to change Washington on my own, but I couldn't do it because Republicans refused to work with me and Democrats. I was able to accomplish some pretty good things, though, because the American People wanted those things done, and they pressured Congress to act. If I get a second term, I want and need the American People to be even more involved in governing our country.

  • Romney:

    ZOMG GAFFE! HE SAID YOU CAN'T CHANGE WASHINGTON! HE ADMITS HE'S A FAILURE FOR PETE'S SAKE! MARVELOUS!

  • American People:

    Um, that's not what he said at all, Mitt.

  • Romney:

    FORTY-SEVEN PERCENT OF YOU NEED TO SHUT UP AND KNOW YOUR PLACE. AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION?! IT! WAS! A! GAFFE!

  • American People:

    This is why you're going to lose, jack ass.